So J is working out and eating better this New Year for his "Biggest Loser" contest at work. I'm glad he's doing well and we are supporting each other. For his workouts he has been watching a movie, and truth be told I've been a little jealous because I don't feel I have the time for such a long work out. I guess it just doesn't fit in with my other "mom" duties. So over the weekend I decided that before I clean and do other things, I would take my time with my work outs and watch a movie. So Saturday I decided to watch Twilight. A got it for Christmas so I worked out for the whole movie, over 2hrs. I was so darn proud of myself and I wasn't bored at all so that was a plus. On Sunday I decided that I again was going to work out to a movie, so it was Atlantis. Yes, it is the Disney version of Atlantis, but I remember when the kids were younger they loved that movie so I did another work out...I didn't finish the whole movie but I worked out for 70 mins. Then I helped E with some homework on the computer for the rest of the movie.
Point is I didn't feel guilty for taking that time, it felt good. I may not be able to do that during the week but weekends should be fine. I deserve that time and I can knock out a ton of movies I haven't seen or haven't seen in a long time.
The rest of the weekend was good. Now I do just have to vent for a moment. So most of you know I have issues with my mom, I love her but I don't care for her choices and truthfully I can't seem to get over her decisions that affected so many lives. I don't blame her for the decisions she made at that time, she was young and immature as it would appear but I do fault her for her actions now. She isn't truthful about the past and she has no clue as to how many lives she's affected. Well anyway, when I went away for my weekend with my friend she took the kids out to eat. I had a Steak-N-Shake gift card so I figured that would be perfect for her and the kids since J and I are trying to be more healthy. The gift card (which was a gift) had $10 written on the sleeve, apparently that was wrong and it was only $5. So she had to use her own money to pay for lunch. She told the kids and J that she was mad at me that weekend. Whatever, you could have stayed in for lunch, it was her choice to go out. Well this weekend she mentioned it to me, how she was mad at me and was so embarrassed. I told her it wasn't my fault, it was a gift and there were more embarrassing things that could happen. Later at A's basketball game I was working the concession stand and she sends E over to tell me that I owe her $20 for lunch.....SERIOUSLY??? I just ignored the comment but it frustrates me to no end. I swear the only reason she watches her grand kids is because she wants to get a free meal out of the deal or her clothes need washing. It's just really frustrating is all. I'm tired of it and one day I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up at her. Not that she doesn't deserve it, it's just that is not what I want to happen. I know I can't have a serious conversation with her either, because somehow it will be all my fault. I just have to learn to let things go with her, let them roll off my back and just move on. It's just hard is all.
OK, gripe over LOL. Thanks for listening :)
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Nothing to worry about
So for shits and grins I weighed myself this morning and sure enough, I was down....I knew I was bloated yesterday and my stomach just feeling a touch off and this morning I was better so I thought I'd step on the scale again, something I typically don't do and sure enough I was down a full pound (actually a lb and a 1/2, the 1/2 that I was up yesterday was also gone). I am super happy for a couple reasons, 1) I didn't get down on myself for the gain 2) I didn't let it detour me from my goals and I think in the recent past I would have 3) I still am maintaining my positive attitude and let me tell you it just feels GOOD.
Yesterday was A's graduation from her D.A.R.E. program at school. It was wonderful. Great speakers talked with the kids, the kids sang some songs and a few of them shared their pledges. It just really made me very proud of my daughter. She's becoming such a wonderful young lady. I was looking at her on the stage and she's just so beautiful. Now I know I'm biased but I thought she was one of the prettiest girls on that stage. She's such a sweet heart and I promise I won't ever stop telling her how proud of her I am or how much I love her. It's certainly a change from my up bringing that's for sure. There wasn't a lot of love or affection at all. One of my other goals for this year is to just enjoy my time with the kids and enjoy every moment because this time is just going by so fast. They are growing so quickly and I just want to enjoy every moment with them and have them enjoy them too so that when both my kids grow up they know that they were loved and we enjoyed our family moments. Because in the end, that's what it is about.....our time with family and friends, enjoying that time and making a positive impact for those you hold near and dear.
Yesterday was A's graduation from her D.A.R.E. program at school. It was wonderful. Great speakers talked with the kids, the kids sang some songs and a few of them shared their pledges. It just really made me very proud of my daughter. She's becoming such a wonderful young lady. I was looking at her on the stage and she's just so beautiful. Now I know I'm biased but I thought she was one of the prettiest girls on that stage. She's such a sweet heart and I promise I won't ever stop telling her how proud of her I am or how much I love her. It's certainly a change from my up bringing that's for sure. There wasn't a lot of love or affection at all. One of my other goals for this year is to just enjoy my time with the kids and enjoy every moment because this time is just going by so fast. They are growing so quickly and I just want to enjoy every moment with them and have them enjoy them too so that when both my kids grow up they know that they were loved and we enjoyed our family moments. Because in the end, that's what it is about.....our time with family and friends, enjoying that time and making a positive impact for those you hold near and dear.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Water Water Water
So on this journey of getting healthier I've been ensuring that I get at minimum 64 oz of water in. Typically I get this in by noon but man O' man do I have to run to the rest room a ton. I guess it's a small price to pay because I can tell you that so far this year my hair is not drying out, my face is not drying out in it's normal spot, my legs after shaving them aren't as dry/irritated. All the healthy benefits are showing and it definitely a positive affect of my efforts.
As for weight this week I was up a 1/2 lb and I knew that it would happen. Over the weekend I wasn't as good as I should have been when I was away but I wasn't as bad as I have been so I do consider this a win. I also am feeling bloated as well so I know that has something to do with it as well. I tell you this because honestly....I am not as bummed as I would have been in the past. I think it's all because I'm being honest with myself. I'm not lying or making excuses, it is what it is and after the weekend I was right back to plan just like I should be.
I also had another mental victory yesterday as I was super tired but I knew I had to work out. My friend wasn't coming over as she had a work meeting so I was able to work out earlier but I was only going to do 30 min. As I was working out, I said I'll work out for 45 min.....then I said, I came this far, what's another 15 min. So I did...I was on the TM for a full 60 min. 30 of it was running and the last 30 was walking briskly. This too is something I wouldn't have done in the past, I would have used the excuse "well she's not coming so I won't work out"...not any more. And I feel great. I feel like I won a battle. It's just sad that I let that go but no more. I am in control and even with a 1/2 lb gain this week I don't care!! I know I'm doing what's good for me! I know that if I remain positive I can accomplish so much, including getting my confidence back and the lbs will come off in no time!
There may be hope for me yet! :)
As for weight this week I was up a 1/2 lb and I knew that it would happen. Over the weekend I wasn't as good as I should have been when I was away but I wasn't as bad as I have been so I do consider this a win. I also am feeling bloated as well so I know that has something to do with it as well. I tell you this because honestly....I am not as bummed as I would have been in the past. I think it's all because I'm being honest with myself. I'm not lying or making excuses, it is what it is and after the weekend I was right back to plan just like I should be.
I also had another mental victory yesterday as I was super tired but I knew I had to work out. My friend wasn't coming over as she had a work meeting so I was able to work out earlier but I was only going to do 30 min. As I was working out, I said I'll work out for 45 min.....then I said, I came this far, what's another 15 min. So I did...I was on the TM for a full 60 min. 30 of it was running and the last 30 was walking briskly. This too is something I wouldn't have done in the past, I would have used the excuse "well she's not coming so I won't work out"...not any more. And I feel great. I feel like I won a battle. It's just sad that I let that go but no more. I am in control and even with a 1/2 lb gain this week I don't care!! I know I'm doing what's good for me! I know that if I remain positive I can accomplish so much, including getting my confidence back and the lbs will come off in no time!
There may be hope for me yet! :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
All rested up...
So I got some much needed rest this past weekend. We sat in the spa around the pool and just relaxed. Did a lot of exercising, treadmill, elliptical and bike. We were going to take a Zumba class but it was cancelled. We also got into the pool and did exercises in there. It was wonderful. When I got home yesterday I was able to get filing done. We have been slacking in that area and haven't filed correctly for YEARS. So I organized it all and got rid of stuff that we no longer needed, it all got shredded. I also was able to clean A's closet. She had clothes all over and a ton of other items and her closet doors would never close, that has been organized. It felt good to get things done off my "to-do" list.
As for the way I'm feeling, it's still a very positive attitude I have and I'm feeling wonderful. I look forward to exercising, my food portions have been what they should, all things that I've lacked in the past years. It's a good feeling to be taking ownership of my actions once again. It's good to be taking "me" time and I really realize how important it is for me to take that time so that I can feel whole and be a better mom, wife and friend. Funny how it all ties together.
As for the way I'm feeling, it's still a very positive attitude I have and I'm feeling wonderful. I look forward to exercising, my food portions have been what they should, all things that I've lacked in the past years. It's a good feeling to be taking ownership of my actions once again. It's good to be taking "me" time and I really realize how important it is for me to take that time so that I can feel whole and be a better mom, wife and friend. Funny how it all ties together.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A Pound
A pound equals:
- 4 sticks of butter
-a loaf of bread
- 512 M&M's
- The amount of weight I lost this week
That's right, I lost my first pound of 2010 and it feels great. I'm jazzed about it because it's the first step in the right direction. I've eaten healthy this week, I've exercised very good and the reward is a loss on the scale. J lost a pound this week too but he's not as happy, he thinks he should lose more but I know better. I know that a pound or 2 is what you should lose a week. That's the healthy recommendation and that's what I did last time I really focused on WW. Each pound I lose I visualize the 4 sticks of butter that were somewhere on my body and they are now gone....gone forever!
Last night my friend Andrea came over to workout. We're making it an weekly Tuesday event. I did 30 min on the elliptical and 30 min on the treadmill and then some really good stretching. It felt great and it was nice to have a work out partner. She'll be training with me for the 1/2 marathon in May. I just hope that I can inspire both Andrea and Ann the way that Karen inspired me to run.
- 4 sticks of butter
-a loaf of bread
- 512 M&M's
- The amount of weight I lost this week
That's right, I lost my first pound of 2010 and it feels great. I'm jazzed about it because it's the first step in the right direction. I've eaten healthy this week, I've exercised very good and the reward is a loss on the scale. J lost a pound this week too but he's not as happy, he thinks he should lose more but I know better. I know that a pound or 2 is what you should lose a week. That's the healthy recommendation and that's what I did last time I really focused on WW. Each pound I lose I visualize the 4 sticks of butter that were somewhere on my body and they are now gone....gone forever!
Last night my friend Andrea came over to workout. We're making it an weekly Tuesday event. I did 30 min on the elliptical and 30 min on the treadmill and then some really good stretching. It felt great and it was nice to have a work out partner. She'll be training with me for the 1/2 marathon in May. I just hope that I can inspire both Andrea and Ann the way that Karen inspired me to run.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Feeling really good!
This weekend the Christmas decorations finally did come down. I dusted, cleaned, vacuumed and rearranged some items in the house. It does seem like my house is larger now that the trees and such are down, but yet it feels a little empty.
Yesterday I ran on the treadmill and it felt good. I felt strong and enjoyed the run itself. So much so that I can't wait until my run tonight. I feel myself becoming stronger and it reminds me of my first 1/2 marathon training...slowly you could feel yourself getting stronger and more confident. I have been feeling more positive and stronger just in the week that I've been tracking my food too. This weekend was good even though I was at home. I didn't snack mindlessly or feel bored and went to go just eat. It was a small victory that really does wonders for my confidence.
Speaking of confidence....I'm wondering why I let mine go....After Napa I was on such a high and my confidence was high, like I could conquer anything but slowly it left me. Not sure why or how but as I slowly work to rebuild that I will work hard to not let it go this time around. Life is filled with hills and valleys and no matter what I have amazing people around me that believe in me and stand by me and there is no reason I shouldn't believe in myself.
Yesterday I ran on the treadmill and it felt good. I felt strong and enjoyed the run itself. So much so that I can't wait until my run tonight. I feel myself becoming stronger and it reminds me of my first 1/2 marathon training...slowly you could feel yourself getting stronger and more confident. I have been feeling more positive and stronger just in the week that I've been tracking my food too. This weekend was good even though I was at home. I didn't snack mindlessly or feel bored and went to go just eat. It was a small victory that really does wonders for my confidence.
Speaking of confidence....I'm wondering why I let mine go....After Napa I was on such a high and my confidence was high, like I could conquer anything but slowly it left me. Not sure why or how but as I slowly work to rebuild that I will work hard to not let it go this time around. Life is filled with hills and valleys and no matter what I have amazing people around me that believe in me and stand by me and there is no reason I shouldn't believe in myself.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Faced the scale....
Last night my new Biggest Loser scale showed up at my door....a day I've been excited about and dreading. So this morning I faced the scale. I knew I wasn't going to like the number but I had to be honest and face the music. I got on the scale and it was a number I didn't want to see but truthfully my emotions didn't get the best of me. I figured, it's a number and I'm looking to decrease that number and if I continue tracking what I eat and exercising I will do just that. I feel good to be recommitted and this time feels like when I first started Weight Watchers. It took me 9 months to get to goal weight then, so I know that this will be the same, perhaps a little quicker with the marathon training that I will be doing. But either way I know I am doing something good for myself and I'm NOT feeling guilty about it.
J is doing a biggest loser contest at work and he made a comment last night that made me chuckle, we are headed to a poker party and there are always snacks and such, he said he's not going to eat all day so he can have room and not over eat LOL. I know that's not the best approach but planning is. It will be fruits and veggies for lunch tomorrow in preparation to eat some goodies. Then I will LOG IT ALL. If I'm over my points then that's OK, being honest is what's important and that's what I haven't been doing lately.
Nothing much else going on, I'm getting all the Christmas decorations down today no matter what!!! I should have done it yesterday but we played a family game so that was more fun.
J is doing a biggest loser contest at work and he made a comment last night that made me chuckle, we are headed to a poker party and there are always snacks and such, he said he's not going to eat all day so he can have room and not over eat LOL. I know that's not the best approach but planning is. It will be fruits and veggies for lunch tomorrow in preparation to eat some goodies. Then I will LOG IT ALL. If I'm over my points then that's OK, being honest is what's important and that's what I haven't been doing lately.
Nothing much else going on, I'm getting all the Christmas decorations down today no matter what!!! I should have done it yesterday but we played a family game so that was more fun.
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