We are FREE

That's right, our family has finally moved out and I'm enjoying every moment of it. I don't know how to say this without being rude but I'm happy they are gone. I'm happy to have my own home and my family back. It's just such a good feeling.

My stomach is still out of whack but I'm hoping with the stress lifted I'll begin to start feeling better soon.

GOOD NEWS

That's right...I have GOOD NEWS....my neice and family are MOVING on SATURDAY. That's right, I said SATURDAY.

Now here comes the odd part...as I'm happy they will be moving and I'll be getting my space and peaceful house (well as peaceful as it can get) back I'm not estatic like I thought I would be when this day came. Why is that?? It's odd, perhaps I'm waiting for them to actually be gone? Is it because I'll be sad? I have no idea, it is just very strange I'm not sure what to make of these feelings.

Today officially I kicked off my training. I did a 2 mile run and felt good. My legs felt a little like lead but all in all for not running outside since the 1/2 in May I felt good. Can't wait to kick off this training on a GOOD NOTE.

My stomach

Is still on the fritz. I have on and off stomach aches and pains. There hasn't been a day the past few weeks that I have felt 100%. I know it's stress. Somehow I need to learn how to not let things get to me and build up. I am making myself sick and that can't be a good thing!

I still am frustated with the family living with me. Hopefully the end is near and after that end is here I'm hoping I'll feel better. If I don't then I think it's something else making me sick and I'll have to go into the doctor in that case.

Next week I start training for the second 1/2 marathon of the season. I'm excited about it. It will be good to get back into a routine. Funny how when you go through the routine you can't wait for it to be done and when I'm not in a training schedule I miss it. Funny how that works.

It's been too long....

Since my last blog post. I only have but a couple of readers so to you faithful please accept my apologies. So let's catch up shall we....

I headed for my annual trip to Myrtle Beach. It was filled with some much needed relaxation time. It was good to be at the ocean. The ocean is a place where I truly feel at peace. Walks on the beach were good for my soul.

I still have family living with me and I'm at my breaking point. I'm tired of the messes that they don't clean up. I'm tired of the TV being on all night and I can hear it (they are downstairs and I can hear it upstairs, it's the super power hearing I have). I'm tired of cooking for 2 families. I'm tired of my bills increasing. I'm tired of the lack of respect. What put me over the edge you may ask....well last week we were talking about them moving (July 15th is the deadline, we'll see if they meet that) and a check came in the mail to them for over $100. She asked if I wanted the check or the could pay some bills. There was also mention of her fiance being paid one last week from the temp agency and they had to fill out that paper work because they needed that check for a security deposit.

To back track just a moment, He did get hired on with the company he was working for so that is good news and something they were waiting for so they could move out and feel like their job situations were stable.

So back to the security deposit....I stated I thought you had the money saved for a security deposit, she replies with he spent it on online gaming. WHAT?!?!?! You've got to be kidding me!!!! I was furious and I ended the conversation because I would have said something very bad.

I feel like they have disrespected us. You are in my home because you had financial issues yet you lack the fore thought to save your money so you could move out. And if you get extra money you should be helping us out. But NOOOOOO You spend it on online gaming!! Very frustrating. I think It's making me sick so my stomach has been off for the last week. Today I finally feel somewhat better. It's just the whole thing is getting old and my patience is gone.

On a brighter note, my daughter hit a grand slam during her first softball game...I'm so proud. My son starts football camps this week, he's as excited as ever.

Hope you all are well!!! I hope to not have so much time in between updates going forward! :)

Pure JOY

The weekend was just Pure JOY. Race day was WONDERFUL. I started the run and I didn't think it was going to be a good day, I couldn't get my breath right and felt tired but then I just hit my groove.

The course was hilly (as they warned) but it was funny when we drove the course it didn't seem to be too bad with exception of one big hill. Well actually running it I could feel those hills. It wasn't so much the going up that was the hardest part....coming down was just as hard and I could feel my legs working overtime.

Mile 5 did yield some nice entertainment....the water station was manned by Pirates...Yep everyone was dressed up and it really made me smile. You just couldn't help but laugh and be happy that you were participating in the day's festivities. There was also a person dressed in a gorilla outfit that was at one of the water stations too. Good stuff.

I did finish, I wanted to finish in 2:45 but with the hills I was happy to finish in 2:48. I'll take it!!!

The remainder of the weekend was beautiful and I enjoyed the sites and tastes of Door County. Mother's Day was calm and peaceful and I didn't do much of anything, just the way I like it :)

What's on tap...a trip to Myrtle Beach and then I'll start to focus on some weight loss exercising before training starts up for the September 1/2.

EXCITEMENT

This weekend is the big 1/2 and I'm very excited. I don't care what my time is I'm just happy to be there and to finish.

My outdoor runs have been strong but unfortunately there haven't been that many runs outdoors because of weather. I don't have the clothing for cold weather or rain and I really can't afford to buy any so my long runs have been indoors. We'll see what the day brings, and like I said, I'm just there to finish and enjoy the beautiful setting.

Good Luck to Joy and Joe who are also participating. They're training has been amazing and I hope that one day their dedication and focus rubs off on me. :)

As for all the side things in life....it's stressful. I still have family living with me and each day I grow increasingly more irritated with them and there laziness. I try to be patient but there is only so much I can tolerate and I'm coming to my end.

I just continue to take lots of deep breaths.

Forever and a Day

Since I've been able to blog about anything. With the restrictions at work I can no longer blog or check blogs at work. It was actually part of my morning routine that I would complete so I kind of miss that.

But anyway, The 1/2 is coming up really soon and I'm very excited and feeling strong. I ran yesterday for 2 hours (I'm guessing a 10 mile run or so). I was stuck indoors as I don't have appropriate running gear for cold/snow. I felt strong and I definitely could keep going. My outdoor runs have been strong. I'm around a 10 minute mile (which is good for me). I know that my first miles are stronger than my last miles. At this point I don't care. I'm just there to finish and to believe in myself again. I'm looking forward to that feeling, the feeling that I can conquer anything.

Now off the topic or running....I am possibly looking at a vacation in Colorado....Estes Park area and definitely some time in the Rocky Mountains...any recommendations or information anyone can share.

Thanks!

Irritated

I got my annual increase today and it's 2%. Now I don't want to seem grateful because I am. I'm happy and thankful for my job and I have gone without a raise in the past. But I kicked ass in my performance last year and I'm not the only one and all we get is 2%. The company is making money so it's not for lack of a profit. It just is really disheartening. Why would I want to work so hard if I'm not going to be rewarded.

Well I will work hard, it's my nature. I have a very high work ethic and won't accept anything less than my all.

I just wanted to vent so thanks for listening.

On the running front, I got another new pair of shoes, the other new ones were no good, these new ones are a keeper. I really am excited to see the temps on the rise so I can hit some pavement baby!!!

New Shoes

I finally got myself fitted with some new running shoes. Only trouble is I'm not sure that I like them just yet. When I run they feel like my feet are falling asleep. Not sure if I just need to break them in or what. I've also been trying different pairs of socks incase that's the issue. I have one more pair to try and then I may need to take these back. But I do have to say the extra padding is very nice and refreshing!!

I did book my room for my 1/2 so I'm excited for that. I'm staying the whole weekend which should be very nice. I also booked a trip for Vegas coming up soon as well. Then in May I'll have Myrtle Beach. I'll be a traveling fool this year and I'm very happy about that. I do need some time away from the stresses at home. They continue to build up. I'm trying to stay on top of things and not let the little things bother me but it's frustrating falling over baby toys, the extra clutter that gets left laying around etc.

Tomorrow is weigh in...I'm hoping for another weekly loss so I can increase my speed.

Feeling Good

So for 3 straight weeks, I've been following my training schedule, I've been eating better and the scale is showing that my hard work is paying off. Typically I'd be up and down and would never have 3 weeks of a loss so I'm feeling very optimistic that good things are happening.

Now the weight I'm at (sorry, I'll never share that number)I haven't been able to crack this number now for months and months and months. I'm hoping that next week, I'll move below this number and get past this "hump".

My training has been going good. I've taken it upon myself to run an hour my weekly runs. The training says 4 miles (usually Monday's and Wednesdays) but since I'm trying to get healthy and strong I decided an hour would be a good idea. Saturday I ran 80 min and I felt really good. I still need new shoes and then I'm sure I'd feel GREAT. I don't know why I just won't go and get them. It's the cost that is keeping me from going and I know I shouldn't let that be a factor. I just need to go and do it.

And it's the start of Lent today, I've given up coffee and soda. I've been having too much of each lately. I am also going to try and cut down on my sweet intake as well.

20 years ago.....

Thanks to Joy for today's blog topic.....What was I doing 20 years ago.

The year 1991.....

Let's see, I was a Junior in high school. I was dating my now husband. I was thinking about college and life after high school.

You know it's funny. I was very active in H.S. On Student Council, 2 sports, prom court, planning committee's the whole 9 yards. I thought it was so important and that all revolved around my friends and school. Looking back, I was above the influence of drugs and drinking. I was friends with everyone and left no one out of conversations or activities. I did though didn't fully participate or hang around with kids from H.S. on the weekends. I was so busy taking care of things at home, or volunteering at church or just being with my boyfriend. Honestly, by 1991 I couldn't wait to get on with the rest of my life. I felt "too old" to be in H.S.

Now fast forward to 2011. I have some of the same traits that I did back then, I volunteer at church and teach Sunday school. I am friends with all kinds of people and I'm a better person because I'm open and form my own opinions of people. I put in my time at work, I do have a couple of good friends from the work place that I do hang with outside of work and on the weekends. I continue to be busy and have a lot more to take care of at home.

The differences I have now....I think I'm a funner person (bad grammar I know). What I mean by that is I know things at home need to be taken care of but all work and no play is not fun. As a kid I was so worried about things at home and taking care of everyone and everything that I didn't allow myself to have fun or to take care of myself. I was very reserved then and now I feel I'm more free. Life needs to be lived. It's too short not to enjoy everything life has to offer. There is so much to be learned from others, so many gifts to be shared with all that I really want to live my life and pass down to my kids that life is about hard work but enjoying each and every moment, large and small.

70 minutes of Bliss

Yesterday I completed a 70 min run. It felt so good. I felt strong and energetic, a feeling I haven't had in awhile and certainly a 180 degree turnaround from Wednesday.

I pulled a Biggest Loser moment as well, my last 30 seconds of the run I pushed the speed up and ran at full burst and you know what....I didn't fall over. I did it. Just as the contestants push themselves I did that too and I had such a feeling of satisfaction.

What I really did learn is that I need new shoes big time. I really need to get in. I was waiting for my REI dividend check but I don't think I can wait that long. So I will head out to get my new shoes and spend my dividends on a swanky new running outfit :)

Stressed

I'm officially stressed. I have been ubber busy at work, which is a good thing but when I come home there is just so much going on I'm unable to relax. I stay tense and irritable and I don't like it. Does anyone have any stress relieving techniques they use that help?

I'm just so wound up inside that my stomach isn't well, my neck and shoulders are super tense and I'm getting cranky. I almost started crying yesterday because no one liked dinner. I think I was more frustrated because I had a tough day I really didn't want to cook dinner for 7 and I was telling everyone I didn't want to cook but I did it anyway. And what did I get for it....no one really liked it. Well then YOU MAKE DINNER NEXT TIME THEN.

OK, so as I'm typing this I'm chuckling, it's funny. I shouldn't be stressed over dinner. I mean I don't care that they didn't care for it, it just I would have liked to hear you know thanks for making dinner, even when you didn't want to. That would have helped the "sting" of the meal not being to my normal standards.

Oh well, I will need to figure something out. My family will be staying with me for at least a couple more months so I need to suck it up.

Too Much

So locally there is a lot of political things happening. It's so overwhelming and frustrating. People have their view points and I respect that and I expect that if I have a differing view point that other will respect me for that, but sadly that's not the case. I feel that Facebook has become a political battlefield. With links to articles, comments, pleas to support one side or the other, it's just too much for me to take. Another friend of mine wrote this on her blog too so I know I'm not the only one out there that thinks it's crazy.

I'm glad that people feel passionately about causes, but I think there are ways to have your voices heard without sick outs, without picket signs that are so inappropriate I have to sheild them from my kids, without all this drama. I believe, and am trying to bring my kids up, that you might not like everything that goes on in our city, state or country government but you need to respect the process. Respect those that were voted in as our leaders even if you disagree with them. We are fortunate to live in this country where we have the right to vote and make decisions and if you don't like it there are ways to have your voice heard without disrespecting the process.

It's just sad that so many have forgotten mutal respect for others with differing opinions and people no longer respect our Democratic process.

And that's enough for me on politics, it's typically not a topic I discuss but it has been wieghing heavily on me so I had to get it out.

On another stressful note, I'm getting more stressed with my family that is living with me. They continue to work and pay bills and help when they can, it's just the small stuff. I know you shouldn't sweat the small stuff but after while it just continues to compound itself and becomes too much. My husband and I just booked a trip to Vegas in April and I can't wait!! It will be a chance to just let go and enjoy the quiet. Funny that one can get quiet in Vegas, doesn't seem possible but it will happen and it will be ENJOYED!!

I'm Happy

That's all....I'm just happy. Feeling good, looking forward to a good week of training.

Not too much going on which is nice. I'm stressed with the family living with us as I knew I would be. Sometimes it's just hard to live with all the toys and clutter. Their idea of clean and ours is different but they are learning. I just need to continue to have patience and enjoy a glass of wine every now and again LOL.

VICTORY

Those that know me, know I'm a huge Green Bay Packer fan and to see them win yesterday it was so exciting. I was just so darn happy for this group of guys who played tough all season. With the chips stacked against them they didn't give in or make excuses, the just pushed through.

It really is a way that we should live life. We get thrown curve balls all the time and it's so easy to make excuses for things we do instead of actually stepping up and pushing ourselves forward.

This type of mentality is how I am going to approach my running this season. When I think the chips are stacked against me, I'll push through and be successful.

Interesting Article

I found the following article on my Weight Watchers site:

Don't you think you deserve a little of your own adoration? Let us show you how to give yourself the love you deserve.

How do you learn to like yourself more? The same way you befriend anyone else: Take the time to get acquainted; be supportive and non-judgmental. Above all, look for the good. And try our tips for self-love:

1. Make a list of your many positive qualities
Read your list often. It could include anything from being a good singer to a loving parent. So what if you're not a brain surgeon or a super model? Very few people are — and you're still a worthwhile, likable individual.

2. Pay yourself a compliment every day
Focus on a different attribute — your clear complexion, pleasant voice, good fashion sense — and say out loud: "I love my ___." It may sound forced at first, but it's a useful counter to self-doubt.

3. Do things you know will help you feel better about yourself
This could be anything from a new hairstyle to losing that first 10 pounds. Tackle the easiest first, to build confidence in future efforts.

4. Give yourself regular treats
It could be anything from flowers to outings; just as you would surprise a loved one. You do it to make them feel good; aren't you worth the same consideration?

5. Spend time with those who care about you
You'll soon share their good opinion of yourself! If there aren't as many supportive people in your social circle as you'd like, consider ways of expanding it to increase your chances of positive feedback. Ask yourself: "Who will help me feel good about myself?" Apart from your immediate circle, consider neutral outsiders.

6. Avoid situations that reinforce self-doubt
This could involve re-examining long-established relationships — perhaps with a critical relative or colleague who is continually reinforcing damaging self-perception. Are you forever seeking another's approval but never getting it? Rather than simply taking the criticism, you could:

Retreat from the relationship a bit.

Stop hoping for approval.

Respond more assertively to harsh remarks (Example: "I feel bad when you call me 'stupid.' I would prefer that you addressed me with more respect.")

7. Try a little kindness
Instead of beating yourself up whenever you goof up, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, same as you would anyone else. Focus on your achievements, not faults. Chances are, once you start looking, you'll be surprised at just how many there are.

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I found this to be an interesting article that really hits home for me. I am very critical of myself and I don't cut myself any slack. And why shouldn't I? I cut others slack, why can't I do it myself? Who knows why. As the saying goes "we are our own worst critic" and we shouldn't be. So, here goes....

Positive Qualities: I am loving, kind, smart, caring, helpful
Compliment for today: I am a strong individual

Starting to feel....

slightly better.

I think I'm turning a corner, slowly but I'm turning in the right direction and starting to feel somewhat better. I'm going to hit the treadmill tonight after work and see how that goes. I'm going to take it easy but training needs to start regardless of how I'm feeling.

Work update...so yesterday I was told that my job title is changing. The whole company is going through this exercise and I'm moving to a title that fits more in line with my group and the work that I'm doing. The trouble is, I was hoping for a promotion. In my old job classification I was well exceeding it and was hoping that after this years review that I would get that long awaited promotion. Well now with me changing job families what does that mean for all the work that I did in my old job family? Is that going to go un-noticed and un-rewarded? Now that I'm moving to a more technical job family how will I be measured going forward? I don't have a technical degree, am I being set up for failure?

These are all questions that I have. This move right now doesn't change my current salary and my team lead tells me that the range is larger so that one can grow financially within the classification. I suppose this is good but I will have to wait and see what my year end review is like and what my yearly increase (if the company is giving any increases)will be. Hopefully it is nothing to worry about and this new title/role will be a welcome challenge for me. I'm trying to remain positive because each time I think I'm headed in the right direction, getting ready to be promoted to the next level, something like this happens and I feel that I am taking steps backwards in regards to monetary compensation. Hopefully that's not the case.

Sick of being Sick

I've been battling sickness now for a week. Each day adds more symptoms. I'm really beat down and sick of being sick.

I can't focus on exercising and training if I am feeling like this. Hopefully this will pass soon so that I can focus!

The Offical Start of my New Year

I know the New Year starts on January 1st but I always seem get recharged on my weekend away with my oldest girlfriend. We started this tradition back in college as a way to have one last weekend to relax before the start of the second semester of college. We've continued this tradition into our adult years and it's grown to a nicer place than just the Holiday Inn when we started. We really look forward to this time away from our families. We are not on Mom or Wife duty, we have the weekend to ourselves to do whatever it is we want.

During this weekend I always seem to get more focused and set my goals for the year. In the past I've worked on my resume, meal planning, exercise planning and focus on weight loss. I'm really pumped to have this weekend so that I can get refocused in my life. I really need to make myself a priority and figure out why it is I can't keep focused on my health. I have no idea why I make excuses or seem to lose track but this is it!! This is my weekend to refocus and give myself a pep talk!

In the words of Stuart Smalley "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me".

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! I hope that 2011 brings lots of good moments for all my friends and family!

My goals for the New Year? Well....I did it! I signed up for 2 1/2 marathons for this year. One in May and the other in September. I'm excited and so it's down to business with getting back on the running band wagon. I started on Sunday and the run felt good, although my treadmill doesn't sound too good, it is very old so a new one may be on the horizon. I'll be running again tonight and I'm looking forward to it. Getting back into a routine is just what I need. I'm determined to meet my goal of the 2 halves this year. I will also track my workouts so I can see my mileage. That's always a good motivator as well.

I will be making a trip to REI or a shoe store as I am in need of some new running shoes. I will make that a priority in the next week or 2. Any suggestions on what my readers like in their running shoes? Currently I have Asics, I like the brand, I just didn't know if there is another brand that is just as nice out there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!!