And I'm so excited!!! Tuesday is the first official 2 mile run. I've been getting stronger and I've seen my runs improve and 2 miles is easy for me (when I'm not super exhausted). Yesterday I worked out for 90 min while watching UP with the kids. It felt good and the few extra Super Bowl snacks I made and ate I didn't feel guilty eating :)
Not too much else going on. I say my mom this weekend at A's basketball game and I didn't talk to her much. She did mention how I didn't call to see if she was OK after her fall in our drive way. I just let the comment pass figuring it would be better to NOT respond. I'm tired of her games and I'm just saddened that I have such feelings. I though mom's were supposed to be like best friends. My SIL has a good relationship with her mom and truth be told I'm jealous. I always wanted to be close to my mom and when I was younger I was, I didn't share everything with her but I think I turned a blind eye to the way I was treated, compensating for not having a dad in my life. Now that I have my own family my eyes have been opened. Opened because while she was at Happy Hour with friends I was locked in my bedroom, kids calling for me to play with them but I couldn't. I kept quiet in my room so they wouldn't know. All of those types of things are creeping back up to my memory and it makes me angry. I just need to move past all of this as it is wasted energy, I'm just not sure how.
Anyway, brace yourselves for more snow!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Good Workouts
The past 2 days I had good workouts. Last week I was tired and didn't work out as much as I had been doing so for me to be back on track this week is a good feeling. It wasn't a struggle, I didn't stop, I didn't make excuses I just went back to working out and I was just as strong with a couple days off. I think it's key that I listen to my body and do what I can. Something is better than nothing.
Last night I also watched some of the Biggest Loser. I've never watched the show before. J and I couldn't turn it off, we stayed glued to the TV to see their workouts, weigh In's and challenges. It was pretty interesting and motivating. Here are people that are very over weight and they want to live so they are making changes that are needed to make that happen. Even the guy that got booted off last night, they showed him now and he's still working with the tools he learned while he was on the show and he lost over 100lbs and he's still losing. It's great to see and gives me the inspiration that I can do this too. I don't have the amount of weight that those individuals need to lose but it shows that with hard work and making better food choices that I will become a healthier me and show my kids these life lessons as well.
I recall a few years ago after I did Weight Watchers the first time around I inspired someone to join and get healthy, well that's my goal...to inspire people. Over the years I've realized that I'm happiest when I feel I'm helping others. It doesn't matter if it's weight loss, through charity, through friendship, through helping the Girl Scout troop, it's about people and helping others....by helping others perhaps it will inspire them to do the same, kind of a Pay it Forward type of mentality. Perhaps that's corney but it is me we're talking about :)
Last night I also watched some of the Biggest Loser. I've never watched the show before. J and I couldn't turn it off, we stayed glued to the TV to see their workouts, weigh In's and challenges. It was pretty interesting and motivating. Here are people that are very over weight and they want to live so they are making changes that are needed to make that happen. Even the guy that got booted off last night, they showed him now and he's still working with the tools he learned while he was on the show and he lost over 100lbs and he's still losing. It's great to see and gives me the inspiration that I can do this too. I don't have the amount of weight that those individuals need to lose but it shows that with hard work and making better food choices that I will become a healthier me and show my kids these life lessons as well.
I recall a few years ago after I did Weight Watchers the first time around I inspired someone to join and get healthy, well that's my goal...to inspire people. Over the years I've realized that I'm happiest when I feel I'm helping others. It doesn't matter if it's weight loss, through charity, through friendship, through helping the Girl Scout troop, it's about people and helping others....by helping others perhaps it will inspire them to do the same, kind of a Pay it Forward type of mentality. Perhaps that's corney but it is me we're talking about :)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Good for the Soul
Friends and family are good for my soul. This weekend I had plans, first dinner with Joy and Joe on Friday at Tandoor (oh so yummy). I enjoy their company and the similarities we seem to share in our families, it helps me know that I am not the only one that faces issues with their parents. Time with them also helps me strive for a better workout. Both Joe and Joy are dedicated to working out and staying fit, this helps push me some too, giving me the confidence to strive for more.
Then Saturday I was hanging with my HCW's....all my weight watchers friends from around the state. These ladies have been so instrumental in my weight loss journey. They are all wonderful and have so many qualities that help me in my life. Having their support and being there for them is what the bond of friendship is all about.
I got home on Sunday and had to race to work concessions at Church for the Basketball tournament. I didn't get to see much of A's game but I believe they scored the most points they have all season. It will be a little more of a difficult day for her teammates as the 2 girls teams from St. Mary's played each other and I guess the other team that won has bigger heads on the teams and may boast or brag at school today. A doesn't have to worry about that drama which is good.
As a family we had dinner together and enjoyed each other's company. I gave my husband a little extra hug last night and snuggled a little more with the kids while tucking them into bed. I understand that it is family and friends that keep me whole and everyone that I have in my life is so important, more than words could ever express.
Thank you to all of my family and friends for being an important part of my life!
Then Saturday I was hanging with my HCW's....all my weight watchers friends from around the state. These ladies have been so instrumental in my weight loss journey. They are all wonderful and have so many qualities that help me in my life. Having their support and being there for them is what the bond of friendship is all about.
I got home on Sunday and had to race to work concessions at Church for the Basketball tournament. I didn't get to see much of A's game but I believe they scored the most points they have all season. It will be a little more of a difficult day for her teammates as the 2 girls teams from St. Mary's played each other and I guess the other team that won has bigger heads on the teams and may boast or brag at school today. A doesn't have to worry about that drama which is good.
As a family we had dinner together and enjoyed each other's company. I gave my husband a little extra hug last night and snuggled a little more with the kids while tucking them into bed. I understand that it is family and friends that keep me whole and everyone that I have in my life is so important, more than words could ever express.
Thank you to all of my family and friends for being an important part of my life!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Finally...
A's basketball team won their first game last night! They did great and really pulled it out. They lead for the whole game and at the end the other team tied it up but the girls got 1 more score under 2 minutes to go and then their defense held up and didn't let the other girls score. What a great moment for all the girls, they were jumping up and down and really excited and they deserved it. All their efforts and the efforts of the coaches are paying off so that's just wonderful to see. After the game the kids all went to Pop's (a custard stand), I had a friend coming over to work out during American Idol so I had J take her.
Another first, E came home yesterday with a form for a soccer camp that's coming up and he wants to join. He NEVER wants to join anything so I immediately said YES. It's $50 for 6 weeks but if he wants to then I don't want to deny him, especially since he showed the interest. And as luck would have it, I don't know where in the world I put the darn form. I can't find it ANYWHERE. So I had J write a note to the teacher asking to send home another one.
On the workout front, yesterday's workout was good, not great. I was tired (it was after 7 when we started) but I pulled through. I ate a piece of wheat bread with some peanut butter about 20 min before the work out and during my run I got a side stitch so I didn't run as much as I wanted to but it was still good. I then went to the elliptical (we switch so we do 30 min on the TM and 30 on the elliptical) and I put the resistance up higher and kept it at a certain speed and managed so all in all it was good. I'm happy to say that the scale also went in a downward motion again this week so that's just wonderful. My efforts are paying off and I feel as if I'm taking control once again! It feels great.
Another first, E came home yesterday with a form for a soccer camp that's coming up and he wants to join. He NEVER wants to join anything so I immediately said YES. It's $50 for 6 weeks but if he wants to then I don't want to deny him, especially since he showed the interest. And as luck would have it, I don't know where in the world I put the darn form. I can't find it ANYWHERE. So I had J write a note to the teacher asking to send home another one.
On the workout front, yesterday's workout was good, not great. I was tired (it was after 7 when we started) but I pulled through. I ate a piece of wheat bread with some peanut butter about 20 min before the work out and during my run I got a side stitch so I didn't run as much as I wanted to but it was still good. I then went to the elliptical (we switch so we do 30 min on the TM and 30 on the elliptical) and I put the resistance up higher and kept it at a certain speed and managed so all in all it was good. I'm happy to say that the scale also went in a downward motion again this week so that's just wonderful. My efforts are paying off and I feel as if I'm taking control once again! It feels great.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Holy Work outs Batman
So J is working out and eating better this New Year for his "Biggest Loser" contest at work. I'm glad he's doing well and we are supporting each other. For his workouts he has been watching a movie, and truth be told I've been a little jealous because I don't feel I have the time for such a long work out. I guess it just doesn't fit in with my other "mom" duties. So over the weekend I decided that before I clean and do other things, I would take my time with my work outs and watch a movie. So Saturday I decided to watch Twilight. A got it for Christmas so I worked out for the whole movie, over 2hrs. I was so darn proud of myself and I wasn't bored at all so that was a plus. On Sunday I decided that I again was going to work out to a movie, so it was Atlantis. Yes, it is the Disney version of Atlantis, but I remember when the kids were younger they loved that movie so I did another work out...I didn't finish the whole movie but I worked out for 70 mins. Then I helped E with some homework on the computer for the rest of the movie.
Point is I didn't feel guilty for taking that time, it felt good. I may not be able to do that during the week but weekends should be fine. I deserve that time and I can knock out a ton of movies I haven't seen or haven't seen in a long time.
The rest of the weekend was good. Now I do just have to vent for a moment. So most of you know I have issues with my mom, I love her but I don't care for her choices and truthfully I can't seem to get over her decisions that affected so many lives. I don't blame her for the decisions she made at that time, she was young and immature as it would appear but I do fault her for her actions now. She isn't truthful about the past and she has no clue as to how many lives she's affected. Well anyway, when I went away for my weekend with my friend she took the kids out to eat. I had a Steak-N-Shake gift card so I figured that would be perfect for her and the kids since J and I are trying to be more healthy. The gift card (which was a gift) had $10 written on the sleeve, apparently that was wrong and it was only $5. So she had to use her own money to pay for lunch. She told the kids and J that she was mad at me that weekend. Whatever, you could have stayed in for lunch, it was her choice to go out. Well this weekend she mentioned it to me, how she was mad at me and was so embarrassed. I told her it wasn't my fault, it was a gift and there were more embarrassing things that could happen. Later at A's basketball game I was working the concession stand and she sends E over to tell me that I owe her $20 for lunch.....SERIOUSLY??? I just ignored the comment but it frustrates me to no end. I swear the only reason she watches her grand kids is because she wants to get a free meal out of the deal or her clothes need washing. It's just really frustrating is all. I'm tired of it and one day I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up at her. Not that she doesn't deserve it, it's just that is not what I want to happen. I know I can't have a serious conversation with her either, because somehow it will be all my fault. I just have to learn to let things go with her, let them roll off my back and just move on. It's just hard is all.
OK, gripe over LOL. Thanks for listening :)
Point is I didn't feel guilty for taking that time, it felt good. I may not be able to do that during the week but weekends should be fine. I deserve that time and I can knock out a ton of movies I haven't seen or haven't seen in a long time.
The rest of the weekend was good. Now I do just have to vent for a moment. So most of you know I have issues with my mom, I love her but I don't care for her choices and truthfully I can't seem to get over her decisions that affected so many lives. I don't blame her for the decisions she made at that time, she was young and immature as it would appear but I do fault her for her actions now. She isn't truthful about the past and she has no clue as to how many lives she's affected. Well anyway, when I went away for my weekend with my friend she took the kids out to eat. I had a Steak-N-Shake gift card so I figured that would be perfect for her and the kids since J and I are trying to be more healthy. The gift card (which was a gift) had $10 written on the sleeve, apparently that was wrong and it was only $5. So she had to use her own money to pay for lunch. She told the kids and J that she was mad at me that weekend. Whatever, you could have stayed in for lunch, it was her choice to go out. Well this weekend she mentioned it to me, how she was mad at me and was so embarrassed. I told her it wasn't my fault, it was a gift and there were more embarrassing things that could happen. Later at A's basketball game I was working the concession stand and she sends E over to tell me that I owe her $20 for lunch.....SERIOUSLY??? I just ignored the comment but it frustrates me to no end. I swear the only reason she watches her grand kids is because she wants to get a free meal out of the deal or her clothes need washing. It's just really frustrating is all. I'm tired of it and one day I'm afraid I'm just going to blow up at her. Not that she doesn't deserve it, it's just that is not what I want to happen. I know I can't have a serious conversation with her either, because somehow it will be all my fault. I just have to learn to let things go with her, let them roll off my back and just move on. It's just hard is all.
OK, gripe over LOL. Thanks for listening :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Nothing to worry about
So for shits and grins I weighed myself this morning and sure enough, I was down....I knew I was bloated yesterday and my stomach just feeling a touch off and this morning I was better so I thought I'd step on the scale again, something I typically don't do and sure enough I was down a full pound (actually a lb and a 1/2, the 1/2 that I was up yesterday was also gone). I am super happy for a couple reasons, 1) I didn't get down on myself for the gain 2) I didn't let it detour me from my goals and I think in the recent past I would have 3) I still am maintaining my positive attitude and let me tell you it just feels GOOD.
Yesterday was A's graduation from her D.A.R.E. program at school. It was wonderful. Great speakers talked with the kids, the kids sang some songs and a few of them shared their pledges. It just really made me very proud of my daughter. She's becoming such a wonderful young lady. I was looking at her on the stage and she's just so beautiful. Now I know I'm biased but I thought she was one of the prettiest girls on that stage. She's such a sweet heart and I promise I won't ever stop telling her how proud of her I am or how much I love her. It's certainly a change from my up bringing that's for sure. There wasn't a lot of love or affection at all. One of my other goals for this year is to just enjoy my time with the kids and enjoy every moment because this time is just going by so fast. They are growing so quickly and I just want to enjoy every moment with them and have them enjoy them too so that when both my kids grow up they know that they were loved and we enjoyed our family moments. Because in the end, that's what it is about.....our time with family and friends, enjoying that time and making a positive impact for those you hold near and dear.
Yesterday was A's graduation from her D.A.R.E. program at school. It was wonderful. Great speakers talked with the kids, the kids sang some songs and a few of them shared their pledges. It just really made me very proud of my daughter. She's becoming such a wonderful young lady. I was looking at her on the stage and she's just so beautiful. Now I know I'm biased but I thought she was one of the prettiest girls on that stage. She's such a sweet heart and I promise I won't ever stop telling her how proud of her I am or how much I love her. It's certainly a change from my up bringing that's for sure. There wasn't a lot of love or affection at all. One of my other goals for this year is to just enjoy my time with the kids and enjoy every moment because this time is just going by so fast. They are growing so quickly and I just want to enjoy every moment with them and have them enjoy them too so that when both my kids grow up they know that they were loved and we enjoyed our family moments. Because in the end, that's what it is about.....our time with family and friends, enjoying that time and making a positive impact for those you hold near and dear.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Water Water Water
So on this journey of getting healthier I've been ensuring that I get at minimum 64 oz of water in. Typically I get this in by noon but man O' man do I have to run to the rest room a ton. I guess it's a small price to pay because I can tell you that so far this year my hair is not drying out, my face is not drying out in it's normal spot, my legs after shaving them aren't as dry/irritated. All the healthy benefits are showing and it definitely a positive affect of my efforts.
As for weight this week I was up a 1/2 lb and I knew that it would happen. Over the weekend I wasn't as good as I should have been when I was away but I wasn't as bad as I have been so I do consider this a win. I also am feeling bloated as well so I know that has something to do with it as well. I tell you this because honestly....I am not as bummed as I would have been in the past. I think it's all because I'm being honest with myself. I'm not lying or making excuses, it is what it is and after the weekend I was right back to plan just like I should be.
I also had another mental victory yesterday as I was super tired but I knew I had to work out. My friend wasn't coming over as she had a work meeting so I was able to work out earlier but I was only going to do 30 min. As I was working out, I said I'll work out for 45 min.....then I said, I came this far, what's another 15 min. So I did...I was on the TM for a full 60 min. 30 of it was running and the last 30 was walking briskly. This too is something I wouldn't have done in the past, I would have used the excuse "well she's not coming so I won't work out"...not any more. And I feel great. I feel like I won a battle. It's just sad that I let that go but no more. I am in control and even with a 1/2 lb gain this week I don't care!! I know I'm doing what's good for me! I know that if I remain positive I can accomplish so much, including getting my confidence back and the lbs will come off in no time!
There may be hope for me yet! :)
As for weight this week I was up a 1/2 lb and I knew that it would happen. Over the weekend I wasn't as good as I should have been when I was away but I wasn't as bad as I have been so I do consider this a win. I also am feeling bloated as well so I know that has something to do with it as well. I tell you this because honestly....I am not as bummed as I would have been in the past. I think it's all because I'm being honest with myself. I'm not lying or making excuses, it is what it is and after the weekend I was right back to plan just like I should be.
I also had another mental victory yesterday as I was super tired but I knew I had to work out. My friend wasn't coming over as she had a work meeting so I was able to work out earlier but I was only going to do 30 min. As I was working out, I said I'll work out for 45 min.....then I said, I came this far, what's another 15 min. So I did...I was on the TM for a full 60 min. 30 of it was running and the last 30 was walking briskly. This too is something I wouldn't have done in the past, I would have used the excuse "well she's not coming so I won't work out"...not any more. And I feel great. I feel like I won a battle. It's just sad that I let that go but no more. I am in control and even with a 1/2 lb gain this week I don't care!! I know I'm doing what's good for me! I know that if I remain positive I can accomplish so much, including getting my confidence back and the lbs will come off in no time!
There may be hope for me yet! :)
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